"Her Children Arise Up"

Last year on Mother's Day I honored the mother of my children. This year I decided to honor my own mother. I've taken the verses from Proverbs 31 and modified them (slightly) to show what a wonderful mother I have.

She seeketh baskets, and ziplocs, and and all manner of organizational materials to keep her house in order.

She is like the Schwanns truck; she bringeth her food from the grocery store.

She riseth also when the alarm clock goes off, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to anyone who is hungry that knocketh on the door.

She considereth a grill, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she grilleth all manner of sumptuous food for her family.

She girdeth her loins with strength, and giveth horsey rides to her grandchildren.

She perceiveth that her ironing is good: her dishwasher goeth not off by night.

She layeth her hands to the hot glue gun, and her hands hold the Velcro.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor children of Romania; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household liveth in a warm climate.

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is always ironed.

Her husband is known in the community, when he sitteth among the elders of the church.

She taketh care of her linen, and bleacheth it when need be; and delivereth flawed garments back unto the merchant from whence she received them.

Classy and elegant are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come when she can purchase more.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law that must be obeyed.

She looketh well to the ways of her refrigerator, and eateth not bananas or applesause.

Her children arise up, and call her Mom; her husband also calleth her Sweetheart, and he praiseth her.